Fighting

It's one thing to have a disagreement, it's another thing to fight. Even in misunderstanding, I really don't know why it would end up in fight-mode, rather than "Wait, what? I thought you said blah blah blah." "No, I said yak yak yak." "Oh. Well that changes things, doesn't it?". And even if we are arguing over something because of a misunderstanding, "argument" =/= "fight"; arguments are disagreements in which both parties are looking to come to the truth of the matter, while fights are...well...not so high-minded.

As for stress, maybe I lead an entirely uneventful life, but I seriously find it hard to be stressed to the snapping point (pun intended). God is bigger than that, and I just live in what He provides.

Regarding the question of "what is a fight?" I would maintain that:

(1) Fights are based on questions of "right." That is, it's always "That's my toy" "I'm right and you're wrong." "I can too do this."

(2) Fights are always personal-- You versus Me. (and I'm right. No, I'm right!....) Fights are not "This idea versus that idea; which is better?" where there is little of *myself* tied up in one idea or the other (even though the ideas may be "mine" or "yours").

(3) Fights exist where one has no willingness to change, if in fact one is wrong. The objective in fighting is to win. Not to reach agreement, nor to come to the truth of the issue.

(4) Most importantly, fights are always the result of selfishness.

But...

If: both of us love God supremely and put each other first, how can fights occur?

(1) If I'm putting the other person first-- should I not yield my "right" to them? Isn't this what Jesus' teaching about "turn the other cheek", and "go the extra mile", and "loan without expecting repayment", and "if someone asks for a coat, give them your shirt too" is all about?

(2) Again...this is incompatible with putting the other person first. You try it: next time you see a fight, ask yourself what that fight would look like if one person was willing to lose for the benefit of the other person. There's no fight anymore, is there?

(3) The only way to win is to make the other person lose. This is categorically not putting the other person first. It's also degrading and mean and selfish. If I love God, then I love truth more than I may ever love winning; and if I love truth, and I'm wrong-- guess what? I'm gonna change.

(4) This is what I said at the very beginning-- we both love God supremely and put each other first-- unless I'm sadly and badly mistaken, selfishness has no place. And even if it does occasionally crop up, what is the likelihood that we'll both have a selfish moment at exactly the same time. It takes two to fight.

The Heart of Calvinist/Arminian Debate

Calvinist: God is sovereign. He has ordained....blah blah blah*...

Arminian: But then it's just God doing EVERYTHING!

Calvinist: Exactly.

Arminian: But what about....?

Calvinist: Yes. God is sovereign.

Arminian: But even so that...

Calvinist: That too. Saw-vurr-inn. He has ordained....blah blah blah*....

Arminian: Oh, nevermind.













*[Editor's note: calvinists can be pretty dry sometimes, so I shortened it for clarity and ease of reading]