How does it work for a family to be serving God versus a single person serving God?
A family is, in fact, a bunch of single people (except for one married couple in there), and so a big part of how a family serves God is involved with what each person is doing individually.
Thus, as a family, the father needs to do what God has called him to do (providing for his family, loving his wife, raising godly children in a godly manner, working in and with the church in the way God's called him to do), the mother would need to do what God has given her to do (raising godly children in a godly way, doing what needs to be done in running the household, loving her husband, and ministering to others as she has been called or as may be needed), the kids' main job in serving God has to do with being obedient, diligent in school – learning what it means to be godly adults, and practicing that in appropriate ways.
But serving God as a family means more than that. If that was all it was, then marriage and family really wouldn't be much of anything special. As a family, there is a unity (or there should be) that should stand as something special.
In the “perfect” marriage relationship, the husband and wife love each other unselfishly and consistently look for the other’s good before his or her own. Both are understanding, supportive, and communicative; they honestly want the best possible for each other, and are willing to sacrifice for that.
However, in the godly marriage relationship, the husband and wife love God first and foremost and work together towards the goal that God has for them, towards fulfilling his will. They are not focused inwards, towards each other, but outwards – their focus is on God and serving him, a common goal shared by both partners. Since they love God, they will also love each other in the manner of the “perfect” marriage relationship, but that will not be the main focus – the main focus is God and God alone, and the qualities of the “perfect” marriage relationship are simply the natural result of serving God first.
This is in fact the underlying principle not just for a married couple but for the entire family – they are all focused on an “outside” goal. The family relationship is built around the fact that each of the family is loyal first to God, and then, because of that, to the family.
The family as a whole should work together to serve God, so that it isn't, “Oh, Mrs. Christian is such a godly woman, especially with everyone doing everything they do in her family,” but rather “That Christian family is weird – it's like they all have the same goal or something.”
One of the main ways of serving God as a family has to do with the fact that every aspect of a family’s life should be an example of godliness to friends, acquaintances, and neighbours; like it says in Timothy about having well-behaved children (not accused of being riotous or unruly), and that the husband and wife ought to have the kind of relationship that people look at and admire because of its love and virtue.
The other major part of serving God as a family (maybe more as parents) has to do with raising children who truly know what godliness is (even if they choose to turn away from God). One of the things that stands out when reading through Kings and Chronicles are the little notes “and so and so walked in the ways of his father so and so, to work evil...” Or like the sons of Rechab, who had vowed not to touch wine or strong drink because of their Dad. Each of those things shows that the children’s actions reflect on the family, either in a good way or a bad way. For that reason, it's really important how children are raised (because they are, after all, a major “product” of marriage), and that even if the children decide to turn away from God, it's important that their only significant complaint should be along the lines of “Mom and Dad were just too much into Jesus -- that was all they ever talked about -- and I couldn't handle it” rather than about how “Mom and Dad were unfair, mean, and touchy” or any other complaint that might have validity.
In terms of what the family should be doing to serve God...
Generally speaking, the father’s/husband’s calling should provide the major direction for the family. So if the father is called to work in evangelism, the family would end up serving roles within that realm, not necessarily all doing what the father does, but serving in whatever areas may fit alongside his vocation.
It's one thing to say that a husband and wife should love God and work together to serve Him, but how exactly does that work in practice?
A lot of that comes around to listening – What does God want us to do? – and then doing it. It's hard to say very specifically something like “Well, this family should be cooking for the soup kitchen, helping out at Serenity House, leading Bible studies, helping out little old lady neighbors” because that is dependent on what God tells the couple to do – they might, but really what they specifically do to serve God is dependent on what he tells them to do.
Serving God as a family involves whatever is given in the Bible (pure, undefiled religion, etc.) and then furthermore, doing whatever else God has asked apart from the Scripture (being led by the Spirit to do such and such) – but what differentiates it from an individual serving God is that unity, that common goal, because it truly isn't a single person doing it – the whole family does it together – and it's more than “Well, Mom and Dad said we're going to go and do this as a family, so we have to do it,” but it really is a common value between each member of the family.
_________________________________
Thanks to the friend who helped write this.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Walking in Love and Truth
If we live in the Spirit of the Lord
Then let’s walk according to His Word
You and I can walk in love and truth
Live so they see
Our words and deeds agree
If we live in the Spirit of the Lord
Then let’s walk according to His Word
You and I can walk in love and truth
Walk in the light
‘Cause He is in the light
If we live in the Spirit of the Lord
Then let’s walk according to His Word
You and I can walk in love and truth
You say you do
Does your life prove you’re true?
Then let’s walk according to His Word
You and I can walk in love and truth
Live so they see
Our words and deeds agree
If we live in the Spirit of the Lord
Then let’s walk according to His Word
You and I can walk in love and truth
Walk in the light
‘Cause He is in the light
If we live in the Spirit of the Lord
Then let’s walk according to His Word
You and I can walk in love and truth
You say you do
Does your life prove you’re true?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Submit! Sit! Stay! Obey!
The Bible says that a wife is to submit to her husband. But how does that work in a godly marriage relationship? It would be easy to give a short, pat answer, but delving into that answer would not be quite as short.
Here’s the short, pat answer: Ephesians 5:22-33. That explains everything, doesn’t it?
The major element of that submission is that it is a willingness to do what the other sees as the best course of action. That statement can be badly misinterpreted, however, so I want to be clear what I mean by it.
It doesn’t mean that the wife is somehow inferior. It doesn’t mean that the wife should not protest the husband’s decision if she thinks it’s unwise. And it doesn’t mean that there are no areas in which she would rightfully carry authority; so in circumstances where her decision is appealed (by the kids, for example), there would be times when the only appropriate response from the husband would be “What Mom says goes.”
In the end, really what it comes down to is that while they would work side by side as equals – as one, and it shouldn’t be any other way – if anyone asked her “Who’s in charge?” she would point to her husband, and if anyone should say “You can’t do that. Who said you could?” she would point to her husband.
This submission doesn’t have to do with one of them having power over the other, or with the wife being like a servant to the husband. It does have to do with a recognition of how the authority structure in the family works, and it does have to do with the fact that God has created husbands and wives to interact a certain way, as a reflection of the relationship between God and men.
The marriage relationship is a joining of two into one, and so nothing really should be done by the one without the other – everything is no longer “yours” or “mine” but “ours” – and so that relationship is one where each wants the other to be a part of whatever task they have to do, as though they were the very best of friends (which they should be). But in that friendship, and in those tasks that they do together as one, one of them will generally need to take the lead, and scripture is pretty clear that that is the husband’s role.
An illustration comes to mind: There were a couple of guys who decided to go sailing, and since neither of them were “in charge” there were disputes about what they were going to do in some cases. Finally one told the other “Listen, I was the one who initiated this whole adventure, I was the one who let you come along, and you chose to join me – I’m the one in charge.” It wasn’t that the other guy was unfit to lead, but that he wasn’t the initiating force to begin with, and he had joined in with the understanding that he was joining, not leading – though he didn’t want to be mindlessly bossed.
Perhaps it’s a weak analogy for submission in marriage in general, but when a woman marries and has her husband as the authority, there is that aspect of willingly choosing to place herself under that authority. It is not that all of the sudden “Oh, I guess I have to listen to this guy now that we’re married,” but rather like how obeying Christ is part and parcel of becoming a Christian – not a sudden realization you have after you’ve decided to be a Christian – you choose to follow Christ knowing that that’s what’s involved. Submission is something that is wrapped up with marriage, not something that just kind of kicks in after you get married.
Submission doesn’t really have to do with “women being weaker vessels”, and there is no room for an attitude like
Above all things, godly submission must work with love, or else it doesn’t work at all. A wife must actively work towards her husband’s highest good, not just mindlessly doing whatever he tells her to do, and if she is going to work towards her husband’s highest good, she has to listen to what God tells her, not just what God tells him. She has to think for herself and share those thoughts, rather than just listening to her husband’s thoughts.
_________________________
[1] Steve Taylor, "I Manipulate"
Thanks to the friend (who remains anonymous) who helped me write this post.
Here’s the short, pat answer: Ephesians 5:22-33. That explains everything, doesn’t it?
The major element of that submission is that it is a willingness to do what the other sees as the best course of action. That statement can be badly misinterpreted, however, so I want to be clear what I mean by it.
It doesn’t mean that the wife is somehow inferior. It doesn’t mean that the wife should not protest the husband’s decision if she thinks it’s unwise. And it doesn’t mean that there are no areas in which she would rightfully carry authority; so in circumstances where her decision is appealed (by the kids, for example), there would be times when the only appropriate response from the husband would be “What Mom says goes.”
In the end, really what it comes down to is that while they would work side by side as equals – as one, and it shouldn’t be any other way – if anyone asked her “Who’s in charge?” she would point to her husband, and if anyone should say “You can’t do that. Who said you could?” she would point to her husband.
This submission doesn’t have to do with one of them having power over the other, or with the wife being like a servant to the husband. It does have to do with a recognition of how the authority structure in the family works, and it does have to do with the fact that God has created husbands and wives to interact a certain way, as a reflection of the relationship between God and men.
The marriage relationship is a joining of two into one, and so nothing really should be done by the one without the other – everything is no longer “yours” or “mine” but “ours” – and so that relationship is one where each wants the other to be a part of whatever task they have to do, as though they were the very best of friends (which they should be). But in that friendship, and in those tasks that they do together as one, one of them will generally need to take the lead, and scripture is pretty clear that that is the husband’s role.
An illustration comes to mind: There were a couple of guys who decided to go sailing, and since neither of them were “in charge” there were disputes about what they were going to do in some cases. Finally one told the other “Listen, I was the one who initiated this whole adventure, I was the one who let you come along, and you chose to join me – I’m the one in charge.” It wasn’t that the other guy was unfit to lead, but that he wasn’t the initiating force to begin with, and he had joined in with the understanding that he was joining, not leading – though he didn’t want to be mindlessly bossed.
Perhaps it’s a weak analogy for submission in marriage in general, but when a woman marries and has her husband as the authority, there is that aspect of willingly choosing to place herself under that authority. It is not that all of the sudden “Oh, I guess I have to listen to this guy now that we’re married,” but rather like how obeying Christ is part and parcel of becoming a Christian – not a sudden realization you have after you’ve decided to be a Christian – you choose to follow Christ knowing that that’s what’s involved. Submission is something that is wrapped up with marriage, not something that just kind of kicks in after you get married.
Submission doesn’t really have to do with “women being weaker vessels”, and there is no room for an attitude like
If you want to build a happy home,Godly submission is a description of how the two can and ought to best work together – the husband loving his wife, the wife loving her husband – being one flesh, serving God wholeheartedly with one heart, rather than two individualistic hearts.
Have you sacrificed a mind of your own?
‘Cause a good wife learns to cower
Underneath the umbrella of power...[1]
Above all things, godly submission must work with love, or else it doesn’t work at all. A wife must actively work towards her husband’s highest good, not just mindlessly doing whatever he tells her to do, and if she is going to work towards her husband’s highest good, she has to listen to what God tells her, not just what God tells him. She has to think for herself and share those thoughts, rather than just listening to her husband’s thoughts.
_________________________
[1] Steve Taylor, "I Manipulate"
Thanks to the friend (who remains anonymous) who helped me write this post.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Such People as Quakers are Needed Today
Oh! Better were it to be stripped and naked of all, to account it as dross and dung, and become a fool for Christ's sake, thus knowing him to teach thee in thy heart, so as thou mayest witness him raised there, feel the virtue of his cross there, and say with the apostle, I glory in nothing, save the cross of Christ, whereby I am crucified to the world, and the world unto me. This is better than to write thousands of commentaries, and to preach many sermons. And it is thus to preach Christ and direct people to his pure light in the heart, that God hath raised us up and for which the wise men of this world account us fools, because by the operation of this cross of Christ in our hearts, we have denied our own wisdom and wills in many things and have forsaken the vain worships, fashions, and customs of this world.
For these divers centuries the world hath been full of a dry, fruitless, and barren knowledge of Christ, feeding upon the husk, and neglecting the kernel; following after the shadow, but strangers to the substance. Hence the devil matters not how much of that knowledge abounds, provided he can but possess the heart, and rule in the will, crucify the appearance of Christ there, and so keep the seed of the kingdom from taking root. For he has led them abroad, lo here, and lo there, and has made them wrestle in a false zeal so much one against another, contending for this outward observation, and for the other outward observation, seeking C h r i s t in this and the other external thing, as in bread and wine; contending one with another how he is there, while some will have him to be present therein this way, and some the other way; and some in scriptures, in books, in societies, and pilgrimages, and merits. But some, confiding in an external barren faith, think all is well, if they do but firmly believe that he died for their sins past, present, and to come; while in the meant time Christ lies crucified and slain, and is daily resisted and gainsayed in his appearance in their hearts.
Thus, from a sense of this blindness and ignorance that is come over Christendom, it is that we are led and moved of the Lord to constantly and frequently to call all, invite all, request all, to turn to the light in them, to mind the light in them, to believe in Christ, as he is in them: and that in the name, power, and authority of the Lord, not in school-arguments and distinctions, (for which many of the wise men of this world account us fools and mad-men) we do charge and command them to lay aside their wisdom, to come down out of that proud, airy, brain-knowledge, and to stop that mouth, how eloquent soever to the worldly ear it may appear, and to be silent, and sit down as in the dust, and to mind the light of Christ in their own consciences; which, if minded, they would find as a sharp two-edged sword in their hearts, and as a fire and a hammer that would knock against and burn up all that carnal, gathered, natural stuff, and make the stoutest of them all tremble, and become Quakers indeed: which those that come not to feel now, and kiss not the Son while the day lasteth, but harden their hearts, will feel to be a certain truth when it is too late.
To conclude, as saith the apostle, All ought to examine themselves, whether they be in the faith indeed; and try their ownselves: for except Jesus Christ be in them, they are certainly reprobates. (II Cor 13:5)
____________________________________
The above is from Robert Barclay's "Apology for the True Christian Divinity."
Surely, if those called by the name "Christian" have such a focus on outward observances and such a faith wherein they may sin daily and yet still believe they are bound for heaven, such men and women as the Quakers were are desperately needed today. I will be one of them. I must be, so long as Christ, who lives in me, moves me to urge people away from their sinfulness, off of their outward rituals, and down from their selfishness.
For these divers centuries the world hath been full of a dry, fruitless, and barren knowledge of Christ, feeding upon the husk, and neglecting the kernel; following after the shadow, but strangers to the substance. Hence the devil matters not how much of that knowledge abounds, provided he can but possess the heart, and rule in the will, crucify the appearance of Christ there, and so keep the seed of the kingdom from taking root. For he has led them abroad, lo here, and lo there, and has made them wrestle in a false zeal so much one against another, contending for this outward observation, and for the other outward observation, seeking C h r i s t in this and the other external thing, as in bread and wine; contending one with another how he is there, while some will have him to be present therein this way, and some the other way; and some in scriptures, in books, in societies, and pilgrimages, and merits. But some, confiding in an external barren faith, think all is well, if they do but firmly believe that he died for their sins past, present, and to come; while in the meant time Christ lies crucified and slain, and is daily resisted and gainsayed in his appearance in their hearts.
Thus, from a sense of this blindness and ignorance that is come over Christendom, it is that we are led and moved of the Lord to constantly and frequently to call all, invite all, request all, to turn to the light in them, to mind the light in them, to believe in Christ, as he is in them: and that in the name, power, and authority of the Lord, not in school-arguments and distinctions, (for which many of the wise men of this world account us fools and mad-men) we do charge and command them to lay aside their wisdom, to come down out of that proud, airy, brain-knowledge, and to stop that mouth, how eloquent soever to the worldly ear it may appear, and to be silent, and sit down as in the dust, and to mind the light of Christ in their own consciences; which, if minded, they would find as a sharp two-edged sword in their hearts, and as a fire and a hammer that would knock against and burn up all that carnal, gathered, natural stuff, and make the stoutest of them all tremble, and become Quakers indeed: which those that come not to feel now, and kiss not the Son while the day lasteth, but harden their hearts, will feel to be a certain truth when it is too late.
To conclude, as saith the apostle, All ought to examine themselves, whether they be in the faith indeed; and try their ownselves: for except Jesus Christ be in them, they are certainly reprobates. (II Cor 13:5)
____________________________________
The above is from Robert Barclay's "Apology for the True Christian Divinity."
Surely, if those called by the name "Christian" have such a focus on outward observances and such a faith wherein they may sin daily and yet still believe they are bound for heaven, such men and women as the Quakers were are desperately needed today. I will be one of them. I must be, so long as Christ, who lives in me, moves me to urge people away from their sinfulness, off of their outward rituals, and down from their selfishness.
Monday, August 31, 2009
I Don't Know (Song for the Quakers)
I don’t know what I should do with my life
I don’t know if I should mar-ry me a wife
Or be single
I opened up my Bible and listened real hard
I listened and ah listened ‘til I grew real tahred
An’ I don’t know
(chorus:)
I listened and I read
But all it ever said
Was “boy, whatever you’re doin’ with your life
Do it to the Lord and you can do it right.”
Seems scripture alone can’t come alongside
Seems scripture just don’t help me decide
What I should be
(chorus:)
I listened and I read
But all it ever said
Was “boy, whatever you’re doin’ with your life
Do it to the Lord and you can do it right.”
(2nd chorus:)
I guess I need a friend
Who can tell me more than
Just “boy, whatever you’re doin’ with your life
Do it to the Lord and you can do it right.”
Who can ah ask tuh show me the right way
Who but the Spirit o’ God can show me today
And say more than
Just “boy, whatever you’re doin’ with your life
Do it to the Lord and you can do it right.”
I don’t know if I should mar-ry me a wife
Or be single
I opened up my Bible and listened real hard
I listened and ah listened ‘til I grew real tahred
An’ I don’t know
(chorus:)
I listened and I read
But all it ever said
Was “boy, whatever you’re doin’ with your life
Do it to the Lord and you can do it right.”
Seems scripture alone can’t come alongside
Seems scripture just don’t help me decide
What I should be
(chorus:)
I listened and I read
But all it ever said
Was “boy, whatever you’re doin’ with your life
Do it to the Lord and you can do it right.”
(2nd chorus:)
I guess I need a friend
Who can tell me more than
Just “boy, whatever you’re doin’ with your life
Do it to the Lord and you can do it right.”
Who can ah ask tuh show me the right way
Who but the Spirit o’ God can show me today
And say more than
Just “boy, whatever you’re doin’ with your life
Do it to the Lord and you can do it right.”
Monday, August 24, 2009
Escalator
Climbing up a down escalator
Eventually you will make it
Just before you meet your undertaker
Live in hope now
Climbing up a down escalator
Is this really how God made it
Always going to be holy later
Feel okay now?
Climbing up a down escalator
Just as you die, you will make it
No-one told you 'bout the elevator
Going up now?
Gradually getting better
Little by little you lose your fetters
One day you'll be dead
And then
Only then
Will you be truly alive
No hope to thrive
In this life
Hah. Wait until you're dead
Eventually you will make it
Just before you meet your undertaker
Live in hope now
Climbing up a down escalator
Is this really how God made it
Always going to be holy later
Feel okay now?
Climbing up a down escalator
Just as you die, you will make it
No-one told you 'bout the elevator
Going up now?
Gradually getting better
Little by little you lose your fetters
One day you'll be dead
And then
Only then
Will you be truly alive
No hope to thrive
In this life
Hah. Wait until you're dead
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A "Hell"ish Inconsistency
Often, we think it a very grievous offense against God when someone speaks lightly of hell. One may say, "to hell with that idea," expressing their disgust, for example, and we would count it to him as blasphemy.
However, why do we not think it a very grievous offense against God when someone speaks lightly of heaven? Should one say "that's positively heavenly," expressing their delight, we think it to be no offense at all, and yet they have treated God's authority with respect to eternal destiny no less lightly than if they had used "hell" in their dialogue.
If someone says "Oh hell!" because they are frustrated, we would condemn them for using "bad language." But if someone says "Good heavens!" because they are surprised, we think nothing of it.
How can we so slight the good things of God, as to care not how or what people ascribe to the blessed state, and yet concern ourselves greatly with people's ascriptions of the state of the damned? Do we really truly believe that God is not concerned equally with His authority and glory and rightful attribution with respect to both sides of His office as eternal judge and arbiter?
This inconsistency is not right. We should either count expressions on both sides as equally harmless, or as equally serious offenses. We cannot count them harmless, for it is indeed a serious thing to usurp God’s authority; we must therefore guard our tongues (and our friends’ tongues) carefully, so that we speak without offense to God.
However, why do we not think it a very grievous offense against God when someone speaks lightly of heaven? Should one say "that's positively heavenly," expressing their delight, we think it to be no offense at all, and yet they have treated God's authority with respect to eternal destiny no less lightly than if they had used "hell" in their dialogue.
If someone says "Oh hell!" because they are frustrated, we would condemn them for using "bad language." But if someone says "Good heavens!" because they are surprised, we think nothing of it.
How can we so slight the good things of God, as to care not how or what people ascribe to the blessed state, and yet concern ourselves greatly with people's ascriptions of the state of the damned? Do we really truly believe that God is not concerned equally with His authority and glory and rightful attribution with respect to both sides of His office as eternal judge and arbiter?
This inconsistency is not right. We should either count expressions on both sides as equally harmless, or as equally serious offenses. We cannot count them harmless, for it is indeed a serious thing to usurp God’s authority; we must therefore guard our tongues (and our friends’ tongues) carefully, so that we speak without offense to God.
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